The Sacred and Profane Order of Misinformation

We meet at midnight
in abandoned fact-checking facilities,
spreading rumors like communion wafers,
drinking distilled uncertainty from holy chalices.

Our scripture is written in disappearing ink,
each verse contradicting the last,
truth and falsehood dancing
like twin snakes around a broken staff.

First Commandment:
Believe everything.
Believe nothing.
Believe both simultaneously.

We are the high priests of maybe,
the prophets of perhaps,
spinning stories from static,
weaving wisdom from white noise.

Our sacred texts include:
- Chain letters from dead relatives
- Comments sections at 3 AM
- Conspiracy theories written in crop circles
- Grocery store tabloids from parallel dimensions

Initiation rites require:
forwarding three blessed emails,
sharing five unverified stories,
and convincing someone
their memory is wrong.

Our prayers begin with
“I heard from a friend who knows someone…”
and end with
“But don’t quote me on that.”

We deal in:
Alternative facts (slightly used)
Tactical ambiguity (military grade)
Strategic confusion (artisanal blend)
Vintage propaganda (free range)

Our relics include:
The original misquote
The first game of telephone
A jar of pure speculation
The doubt that started it all

Remember brother, remember sister:
The truth is but one story
among infinite possibilities.
Why settle for what is
when you could trade in what if?

Join us in our sacred mission
to keep reality guessing,
to maintain the divine balance
between fact and fiction,
until no one knows
which is which
(including us).

Membership fees payable in:
- Unreliable sources
- Urban legends
- Secondhand secrets
- Misremembered dreams

*Results not guaranteed
**Truth value may vary
***Side effects include chronic uncertainty
****Terms and conditions are subject to interpretation