The Punchline Paradox

Dr. Evelyn Quark stared at the artifact floating in the containment field, her brow furrowed in concentration. The object — if it could be called that — seemed to shift and change every time she blinked, sometimes appearing as a Klein bottle, other times as an Escher-esque staircase, and occasionally as what looked suspiciously like a rubber chicken.

“Any progress, Doc?” Captain Zane Orion asked, entering the lab with a cup of what was supposed to be coffee but had recently taken to tasting like pickle juice.

Evelyn sighed, running a hand through her disheveled hair. “Well, we’ve confirmed it’s definitely of divine origin. Specifically, it seems to be a manifestation of Zoth-Ommog’s sense of humor.”

Zane groaned. “Zoth-Ommog? The Elder God of Cosmic Pranks? We’re doomed.”

As if on cue, alarms began blaring throughout the colony. Chief Engineer Mx. Alex Neutron’s voice crackled over the intercom, panic evident in their tone.

“Captain! The gravity generators are malfunctioning! People are — “ Their voice cut off, replaced by what sounded suspiciously like a laugh track.

Zane and Evelyn rushed to the window, only to see colonists floating by, some desperately trying to swim through the air, others resigned to their fate and playing zero-g tag.

“Well,” Zane deadpanned, “I guess the situation’s really up in the air now.”

Evelyn shot him a withering look. “This is serious, Captain. The artifact is…