The Emperor Wears a Nametag That Says ‘Steve’

Hello, my name is SUPREME RULER
(but you can call me Steve)
I got this crown at Target,
my scepter’s made of memes.

The royal court’s been outsourced
to a call center in dreams,
where prophets work part-time
processing prayers and schemes.

My imperial decree today:
Casual Friday’s now eternal,
the dress code is whatever,
divinity goes informal.

The throne room’s been converted
to a cosmic coffee shop,
where destiny serves lattes
and fate works as a barista
(minimum wage plus tips).

My royal lineage traces back
to a joke somebody told
about a universe that walked
into an existential bar.

Divine right? More like
divine whatever, man.
My subjects call me dude,
and karma’s on a first-name basis.

The royal guards now wear
Hawaiian shirts and crocs,
protecting sacred truths
with water guns and puns.