Mommy Dearest

Mia hated her mom. Well, not really, but she wished she would stop trying to be her friend. Ever since Mia turned 13, her mom had been acting like a teenager herself. She dyed her hair pink, got a nose ring, and started wearing crop tops and skinny jeans. She listened to the same music as Mia, watched the same shows as Mia, and even followed the same influencers as Mia.

But the worst part was that she tried to hang out with Mia’s friends. She would invite them over for pizza parties, movie nights, and sleepovers. She would join their group chats, comment on their posts, and send them emojis. She would offer them advice, gossip, and compliments.

She thought she was being cool and supportive, but Mia knew she was just being annoying and embarrassing. Mia’s friends pretended to like her mom, but Mia could tell they were laughing at her behind her back. They called her “Mommy Dearest”, “MILF”, and “Cougar”. They made fun of her clothes, her hair, and her attempts to be hip.

Mia tried to tell her mom to back off, but she wouldn’t listen. She said she was just trying to bond with her daughter, to understand her world, to be her best friend. She said she loved Mia more than anything and wanted to make her happy.

But Mia wasn’t happy. She was miserable. She felt like she had no privacy, no identity, no life of her own. She felt like she had to compete with her mom for attention, for popularity, for respect.

She decided to do something about it. She decided to teach her mom a lesson.

She came up with a plan. She told her mom that there was a big party at her friend’s house on Friday night, and that she wanted to go. She said it was a costume party, and that everyone was dressing up as their favorite characters from a popular show.

She knew her mom would want to go too. She knew her mom would want to dress up too. She knew her mom would want to impress everyone too.

She also knew what character her mom would choose.

She waited until Friday afternoon, when her mom was out shopping for a costume. She sneaked into her mom’s room and found her phone. She opened the group chat with Mia’s friends and typed a message.

“Hey guys, I’m so excited for the party tonight! I’m going as Eleven from Stranger Things! I think I nailed the look! What do you think?”

She attached a picture of herself wearing a pink dress, a blonde wig, and a bloody nose.

She hit send and waited for the replies.

They came in fast and furious.

“OMG Mommy Dearest you look amazing!”

“Wow MILF you’re so hot!”

“Yasss Cougar you’re killing it!”

She smiled and deleted the message. She replaced it with another one.

“Hey guys, I’m so sorry but I can’t make it to the party tonight. I have a family emergency and I have to stay home. Have fun without me!”

She hit send and waited for the replies.

They came in slower and sadder.

“Aw Mommy Dearest that sucks!”

“Oh no MILF what happened?”

“Boo Cougar, we’ll miss you!”

She smiled and deleted the message. She replaced it with another one.

“Hey guys, I’m kidding! I’m totally coming to the party tonight! And I have a surprise for you! I’m bringing my boyfriend!”

She hit send and waited for the replies.

They came in shocked and curious.

“What? Mommy Dearest you have a boyfriend?”

“Who? MILF spill the tea!”

“Pics or it didn’t happen Cougar!”

She smiled and deleted the message. She replaced it with another one.

“Here he is! Meet my boyfriend! He’s going as Dustin from Stranger Things! Isn’t he cute?”

She attached a picture of herself with a man wearing a green shirt, a red hat, and fake teeth.

She hit send and waited for the replies.

They came in horrified and disgusted.

“Ew Mommy Dearest that’s your boyfriend?”

“Gross MILF that’s your ex-husband!”

“WTF Cougar that’s Mia’s dad!”

She smiled and deleted the message. She replaced it with another one.

“Gotcha! It’s me Mia! I hacked my mom’s phone! This is payback for being such a lame mom! Leave me alone and stop trying to be my friend! You’re not cool, you’re not funny, you’re not popular! You’re just pathetic!”

She hit send and turned off the phone.

She felt satisfied and triumphant.

She heard the door slam and saw her mom walk in.

She looked furious and scary.

She was wearing a pink dress, a blonde wig, and a bloody nose.

She was holding a green shirt, a red hat, and fake teeth.

She said one word.

“Run.”