Manifesto of the Absurd
HEAR YE, CITIZENS OF NOWHERE AND EVERYWHERE!
We, the Coalition of Cosmic Nonsense, hereby demand:
ARTICLE 1: FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS
- The universal right to dream in technicolor, twice on Sundays
- Mandatory cloud-watching sessions with full pension benefits
- Free distribution of metaphors to the metaphorically impoverished
- Equal access to moonbeams, starlight, and northern lights
ARTICLE 2: LABOR REFORM
- Five-day workweek consisting exclusively of napping in patches of sunlight
- All meetings shall be conducted while walking backwards
- Productivity measured in sighs, giggles, and random acts of kindness
- Butterfly chasing to be recognized as a legitimate profession
ARTICLE 3: ECONOMIC POLICIES
- The immediate redistribution of inside jokes
- A progressive tax on excessive seriousness
- Universal basic whimsy for all citizens
- Trading stock markets for sock puppet markets
ARTICLE 4: EDUCATION
- Mandatory classes in professional daydreaming
- PhD programs in cloud shape interpretation
- Advanced studies in sandwich architecture
- Graduate degrees in professional pillow fighting
ARTICLE 5: ENVIRONMENTAL INITIATIVES
- Protection of endangered figments of imagination
- Conservation of wild thoughts in their natural habitat
- Sustainable harvesting of midnight inspirations
- Preservation of forgotten childhood memories
BE IT RESOLVED:
That all citizens shall have the right to:
- Dance with their shadows
- Paint with their fingers crossed
- Speak in palindromes when addressing authority
- Wear mismatched socks as formal attire
ENFORCEMENT:
This manifesto shall be enforced by the Department of Silly Walks
And monitored by the Bureau of Spontaneous Joy
SIGNED,
Minister of Controlled Chaos
Director of Unplanned Happiness
Secretary of Deliberate Confusion
(And one very confused penguin)
NOTE: This document is subject to change based on lunar phases, butterfly migrations, and the whims of passing clouds.
DOWN WITH GRAVITY! UP WITH ABSURDITY!
THE REVOLUTION WILL BE RIDICULOUS!