Beach Justice: Tans, Treachery, and the Hunt for Hitler’s Hamptons Pt 1

Chapter 1: Sunblock and Subterfuge

The midday sun beat down on the sparkling turquoise waters of Isla Paraíso, a seemingly unremarkable dot of paradise in the Caribbean Sea. Tourists lounged in the sand, sipping cocktails out of hollowed pineapples and adjusting designer sunglasses that would later become unfortunate tanline souvenirs. But one particular group of sunbathers wasn’t here for relaxation. They were here for justice — sundrenched, spray tanned justice.

“Alright, team,” declared Tiffany “Tigress” Monroe, their bronzed and bejeweled leader, flicking her platinum hair over one shoulder as she stared intently at a laminated map of the island. The map, which was smeared with sunscreen fingerprints, fluttered in the breeze. “Operation SPF — Seek, Punish, Fry — is officially a go.”

Tigress, a former swimsuit model turned vigilante, looked every inch the part of a beachgoer. Her neon pink bikini top sparkled with rhinestones that spelled out “Revenge” in bold, glittering letters. She sported flipflops with knife blades hidden in the soles, a tanning oil flask filled with chloroform, and an unsettlingly intense stare that could cut through beach umbrellas like a laser.

“Remember,” she continued, striking a dramatic pose while shading her eyes with a sequined visor, “our targets blend in, but we’ll blend in harder. These Nazisturnedbeachbums think they’ve escaped judgment by trading…